Single, Not Alone: How to Overcome Loneliness and Embrace Solitude

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Isn’t it interesting how we’re more connected than ever through social media, yet many of us feel disconnected? You scroll through highlight reels—job wins, vacations, date nights—and while you’re happy for your people, it can still bring up feelings of comparison or loneliness.

If you’re in a season of singleness, those moments can hit especially hard. And when the scrolling stops and the light dims, you're left with the quiet. Sometimes it's peaceful, other times, it feels a little too empty.

So let’s talk about it—loneliness vs. solitude. How do we move from feeling alone to actually enjoying our own company? How can solitude become a space for strength, growth, and peace?

Loneliness

Loneliness has a sneaky way of showing up in the quiet and inconvenient moments—eating dinner alone, waking up to silence, going to events as your own plus 1, or celebrating something with no one to share it with.

But it’s not always about being physically alone. Sometimes, even when we’re surrounded by people, we still feel disconnected—like we’re not really seen or heard.

Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking:

• Where is my Sex and the City-like friend group?

• Why do I feel like an outsider in my own family?

• Why don’t I really connect with my coworkers beyond small talk?

• Why is everyone falling in love or starting families... and I’m still single?

  
  

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These thoughts can show up out of nowhere, or be triggered by something small—a song, a memory, a scroll through social media. But feeling this way doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It just means you’re human—and craving real connection, like we all do.

Solitude

Solitude, on the other hand, is that sweet spot where you’re alone—but not feeling lonely. And if you’re thinking, how is that even possible? Well, when we choose to spend intentional time with ourselves, it gives us room to breathe, reflect, and reconnect—without all the noise or pressure to measure up. 

It’s in that quiet space we can ask: What actually matters to me? What do I want, need, or enjoy? It's a chance to get to know yourself better.

A lot of us avoid solitude because we don’t want to deal with our thoughts, feelings, or decisions we’ve been putting off. But honestly, it’s in those brave, quiet moments that we start finding clarity, understanding ourselves better, and facing what we’ve been neglecting.

Yes, solitude can be uncomfortable—especially if we’re used to numbing out with distractions or clinging to the wrong people to escape the feeling of loneliness. However, when we learn to sit with it, rather than avoiding it, it becomes a beautiful healing space. 

It’s in solitude that we remember that our worth isn’t tied to our relationship status, how busy we are, or how often people reach out. It’s about how we show up for ourselves—consistently.

From Loneliness to Peace

Learning to enjoy your own company doesn’t just happen overnight. It takes awareness, intention, and a lot of compassion for yourself.

Start small. Find moments that ground you—whether it’s journaling, praying, walking in nature, reading, or simply being still with a warm cup of coffee and reflecting. Practice being present with yourself without reaching for distractions, even if it feels uncomfortable, and really get to know yourself. Over time, you’ll start to notice that quiet doesn’t mean empty. And like with everything, being alone might be just a season. Enjoy, embrace, and make the most of the gift that is being single.

In a world that constantly tells us we need someone else to be whole, choosing to love your own company is honestly one of the most powerful things you can do. Solitude isn’t about running away from people—it’s about becoming your best self. 

Besides, once you truly know, love, accept, and feel fulfilled with yourself, you’ll show up more fully in every other relationship. Plus, when we learn to thrive in solitude, we’re less complacent and willing to be with people for the sake of not being alone. 

We’re not meant to go through life completely by ourselves—but if we can’t find peace and contentment in solitude, we’ll find loneliness in companionship instead.