10 Signs It’s Time to Let Go and Move On

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Letting go of something you once held dear can be one of the hardest things to do. Whether a dream, a relationship, a job, or even a version of yourself, releasing them can feel impossible out of fear of what it represents— change, the unknown, losing control, or making the wrong choice. And sometimes, that fear keeps us stuck way past the expiration date.

But here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way): holding on when something is no longer right can do more damage than letting go ever will. Time heals and can offer perspective. Oftentimes, that “scary unknown” is actually the doorway to something better.

So, how do you know when it’s really time to let go and move on? Let’s talk about it.

1. You’re the Only One Holding It Together

When you’re the one doing all the emotional heavy lifting—whether in a relationship, friendship, or job—it’s draining. Effort should be mutual, not one-sided.

Think of being the only person on a team who cares about keeping things afloat. Eventually, that imbalance will wear you down and affect your well being.

2. It Doesn’t Align With Your Values and the Version of Yourself You Want to Be 

As we grow, our values, priorities, and goals evolve, which is normal. But when a person or situation consistently clashes with those values—or worse, pulls you away from them—it’s a major red flag that lets you know it’s time to step back.

For example, if honesty and transparency are important to you, but your partner avoids difficult conversations or resorts to dishonesty, you’ll likely find yourself compromising more than you should. Over time, you may start to lose sight of your values and find yourself stuck in a version of yourself—and a relationship—that doesn’t feel right.

3. It Brings More Pain Than Peace

If you feel more stress, anxiety, or sadness than calm and contentment, your body is trying to tell you something.

Not long ago, I was set on buying my first house. I had the Pinterest boards and the vision to make it a home. But, in the process, what began as a dream became the root of stress, frustration and external pressure. I was forcing something that clearly wasn’t meant for right now. Once I let go, I felt a weight lifted off my chest. I felt at peace.

4. You Stay Out of Fear

Fear is a powerful thing—fear of the unknown, fear of starting over, fear of being alone. But if fear is the only thing keeping you in a situation, that’s not a safety net. It’s a cage.

It can look like staying in a job that drains you, or in a relationship held together by convenience and toxicity, simply because starting over feels terrifying and overwhelming. Staying feels easier because at least it’s familiar. I get it. But when fear isn’t something you manage, it starts controlling you.

Of course, there are other and more delicate situations where maybe your life or the people in it are at risk, such as toxic or abusive relationships. In which case, seek professional help and draft an escape plan. Be sure to talk to people you can trust. 

5. You’ve Tried Everything, and Nothing Changes

We all know that relationships, careers, even personal dreams take effort. But if you’ve really tried—therapy, honest conversations, sacrifices—and things still haven’t changed… you might be trying to fix something that isn’t meant to be fixed.

6. Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions

“You’re a valuable asset in the company”, but your work goes unrecognized or uncompensated.  

“You’re the most special person in my life and I love spending time with you”, but they won’t commit or provide clarity.

“I value our friendship”, but they keep canceling plans or ignoring messages.

When someone tells you one thing, but their actions don’t match, it’s clear that their intentions don’t align with their behavior. Pay attention. Actions speak louder than words.

7. There’s No Room Left to Grow

If a job role, a friendship, or even your dreams—starts to feel like it’s holding you back rather than helping you grow, it might be time to make some changes. 

8. It’s Draining You

Everything in life requires energy. But some things (and people) just take—without ever giving back. Constantly supporting someone who never supports you, or picking up a coworker’s load because they’re slacking off? That’s draining! And eventually, it takes a toll on your physical and emotional health.

9. You’re Holding On to the Past

Sometimes we don’t hold on to what is, but to what used to be. Nostalgia is tricky—it can make us cling to early days, memories, or feelings, thinking “things can go back to how they used to,” while ignoring reality.

Think about childhood friends where one of the few things holding the relationship together is the memories of what once was, but the present looks different; there’s not much common ground anymore and that’s okay. We can wish each other the best even if we won’t be a part of that. We’ll still have the memories to cherish.

10. You’ve Lost Yourself in the Process

This one’s tough and it hurts… a lot. I know. If you no longer recognize who you are in a relationship, at work, or situation, pause and reflect. If you’ve silenced your voice, compromised your values, forgot your self-worth or dimmed your light, it’s costing you way too much and it’s simply not worth it.

My darling, gather all the courage you can and walk away without looking back. Stop. Holding. On. If you lose yourself to fit in the wrong places or with the wrong people, what will be left of you?

Letting Go Is Growth 

Letting go doesn’t mean you gave up. It doesn’t mean you failed. And it definitely doesn’t mean it was all a waste.

Some people, opportunities, dreams, and even beliefs are only meant to stay for a season or a reason. That’s part of our evolution.

If you’re constantly questioning whether to hold on or move on, deep down, you already have the answer.

As for how to let go—that’s a deeper conversation I hope we’ll share soon. But for now, start here: be honest with yourself, and accept that it might be time.

Closing a chapter you once loved can be heartbreaking. But lingering too long keeps you stuck in a story that’s already finished. And there’s still so much life left to be lived. Don’t waste it by clutching what hurts or confines you.

Here’s to finding the courage to release what no longer serves us. Here’s to discovering what will.

And to the people, dreams, and places I’ve had to let go—thank you for the moments, and for the lessons.

Until next time, friends.